Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that
is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." It's
meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view
of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which
may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their
usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and
respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the
woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and
experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver)
experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special
moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex
(when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build
trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist
women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a
pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure
and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver
and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving
something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded,
more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or
not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just
allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself
afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it
should be entirely the receiver's choice. This perspective will build
greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual
horizons.
PREPARATION:
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A
quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc.,
or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow
yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will
avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go
to the bathroom.
Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking
into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you
to a place of safety and relaxation.
PROCEDURE:
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so
she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver).
Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to
be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions
under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for
the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver
may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full
access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply,
slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will
gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver
stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not
hyperventilating, is very important here.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the
receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound
of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips
and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual
lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops,
sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants. My favorite is Yoni
Play from Looking Good Enterprises.)
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni.
Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the
massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index
finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the
same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and
continue breathing deeply.
It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as
much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure,
speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your
speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my
experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and
diminishes the effects.)
Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise
circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this
as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will
undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to
just relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right
hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as
opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra.). Very
gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this
finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways.
Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage
and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni,
move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back
towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just
under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in
Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into
detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to
urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure,
speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back
and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert
the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Check with
your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most
women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased
stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle.
You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as
well.
An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the
right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinky
into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication
and be very gentle.
(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is in her anus, the next
finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on
your clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe
in your hand.")
So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to
massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the
clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion,
with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound.
The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much
pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand
to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the
receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of
the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the
intent as well.
Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions.
Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She may have
powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and
be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be
healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to
her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if
she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In
Tantra this is called "riding the wave."
Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni
Massage and a very patient partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and
with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and
enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is
very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage
your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal
about feminine sexuality.
There is a similar massage for men called the Lingam Massage.
Lingam is a Sanskrit word for the penis that means, "Wand of
Light." I will post it some other time.
Namaste,
Jeffery
--
=====================================================================
``You are the passage through which time flows. You are the emptiness
that holds all space. You are the center that is everywhere, turning
on itself in an endless dance of ecstasy.'' -- Judith Whitman-Small
This is a follow-up to the recently posted "Yoni Massage"
and is the male version of the Tantric/Sacred Sexuality
pleasuring technique. Enjoy.
The Lingam Massage
BACKGROUND INFO:
The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam
(pronounced LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and
is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." It's meaning is
different in intention from the typical Western view of the
penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick, etc., words that may
come from a limited perspective, depending on the intent of
their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is
respectfully viewed and honored, a "Wand of Light" that
channels creative energy and pleasure.
The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the
receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his
Lingam. His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of
facilitating and witnessing the man surrendering to his
softer, gentler side. The Lingam Massage can be used as a
form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an
excellent process to build trust and intimacy. It is often
used to help men heal from negative sexual conditioning and
trauma.
Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is
often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to
massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and
Sacred Spot (the equivalent to the female G-spot), and
allow the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not
be used to. From this perspective both receiver and giver
relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional
sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented
mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience
his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from
a non-traditional perspective.
PREPARATION:
Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe
deeply. Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of
your mental process and will get you more into your
feelings. Relax your belly and let go of the tension that most
of us hold there.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best
results occur when the bowels and bladder are empty.
Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner
through hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each
other's eyes for an extended time), bringing both of you to a
place of relaxation and trust.
PROCEDURE:
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head
so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow,
covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be
spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or
cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals
clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed
breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest,
nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the
receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into
relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based
lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the
Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles,
taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage
the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area
above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the
Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take
your time. You are giving a massage to an often neglected
area of the body.
Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and
pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your
right hand, pull UP and slide off and then alternate with
your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right,
left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze
at the head of the Lingam/penis and then sliding DOWN and
off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an
orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In
Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that
correspond to other parts of the body. It is said many
ailments can be cured by receiving a good Lingam Massage.
NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform
this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again.
You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get
hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric
experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down.
Hardness and Softness are two ends of the pleasure
spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off,
allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the
massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation,
and then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in
and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery
and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing
off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will
soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery
will allow you to make love as long as you want and you
can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen.
Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you
can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two
ways to do this.
One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and
anus. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or
maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the
pressure deep inside and it may be intensely painful at first.
Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will
be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory
control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand
and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try
pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. It is aptly
named the Million Dollar Point in Taoism.
The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the
anus. Many men, especially heterosexual men, are
uncomfortable at first as a result of negative sexual
conditioning. Be careful here and use lubrication. The key is
to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure he is breathing as
you slip a finger from your left hand into the anus about an
inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come here"
gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the pressure
and speed of massage. He may want stimulation of the
Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back off on the
Lingam as he approaches orgasm and increase the pressure
on the Sacred Spot.
Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up
during access to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember
a traumatic event from his past. You, the giver, are in a
place of trust and intimacy. Allow him to feel his emotions
and be very loving, not trying to console or fix him, just let
him feel whatever he needs to. Encourage him to scream,
cry, moan, sob, if it feels appropriate. Be the best friend and
healer he could have in that moment.
ENDING THE MASSAGE:
If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe
deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if
he has come close and held back at least SIX times before
ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual
battery with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as
to where he wants to send this energy -- out with their
ejaculate (the prevailing paradigm) or inward for
other uses (men who master ejaculation are able to
channel this energy into other areas of their being).
When he feels complete with the massage gently remove
your hands and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want
to snuggle up together or you can leave the room and let
him drift off into a meditative state. Allow him to fully
experience his childlike innocence and magnificent male
beauty.
Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends
and loved ones.
Namaste,
Jeffery
--
--J. E. Patterson--jpatters@willamette.edu--
Disclaimer: I din't say nothin'. My twin said it.