Spirit-WWW: NewsGateway Article <news:alt.alien.visitors.226253>

From am192@yfn.ysu.edu (Ken McKee):
Newsgroups: alt.alien.visitors,

Subject: UFO Abduction Survey Revised

All Follow-Up: Re: UFO Abduction Survey Revised
Date: 24 Feb 1998 12:13:21 GMT

                     ALIEN ABDUCTION SURVEY

Have you ever seen a UFO?  Have you seen more than one UFO?  Do
     you know what UFO stands for?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone you considered an
     alien or extraterrestrial from outer space?

Do you question authority?

Do you think the United States Government is covering up some
     secret about the existence of extraterrestrials and/or UFOs?

While being photographed have you ever seen bright flashes of

When you look at the stars do you whisper to yourself, "there's
     no place like home."

Do you feel you have been chosen for a special or higher purpose?

In buildings with more than one floor, have you ever experienced
     a feeling of weightlessness or moving stairs?

During sudden electrical blackouts have you ever experienced a
     loss of time?

After watching 12 hours of ESPN have you discovered unexplainable
     bruises on your body?

Do you have an uncontrollable urge to grab your mother-in-law
     and, while weeping passionately, cry out, "I love you mom?"

Do you take more vitamins than most people?

Do you have sinus trouble?

Do you have trouble sleeping through the night for unexplainable

Have you ever dreamt about UFOs or being inside a UFO?

Do you sometimes forget the number to 911?

Do you get irritated with people who claim to have seen a UFO?

Have you ever experienced a sharp metal object being inserted in
     your body while resting horizontally on a medical gurney?
     Did you notice a loss of bodily fluids during these times?

Have x-rays or other procedures revealed unexplainable foreign
     objects lodged in your body?

Has your car ever stalled or died at an intersection, a red
     light, or an abandoned field?

Do you have an obsessive aversion to polka music?

Have you ever heard strange noises or seen unusual sights in the
     sky while camping?

Do you have a hard time getting out of bed after a long weekend?

Can you go one day without chocolate?

Do you ever think that the Statue of Liberty's torch may actually
     be sending out undetectable electronic signals in order to
     contact extraterrestrials?

Have you ever started a joke and forgotten the punch line only to
     ask, "what was I saying?"

Do you have a fear of being locked up in small enclosures?  Do
     you become paranoid in elevators?

Have you ever asked the following questions:
     Why am I here?
     What is the meaning of life?
     What happens after I die?
     What is a great tofu recipe?

Do you feel compelled to arrive at specific locations 15 minutes
     before everyone else?

Have you ever had an unexplained nosebleed?

Do you sometimes feel your ears clogging up due to some sort of
     external pressure?

Have you ever waken up suddenly and unexpectedly in a cold sweat,
     sat straight up with your arms facing forward and screamed,
     "QUIT SUCKING OUT MY BRAINS!!!"  This never happens.  I was
     just wondering.

Do stars seem to move before your eyes after staring at the night
     sky for several hours?

Have you noticed any unusual people at your family or class

Do you sense people staring at you in elevators?

Do you experience sudden headaches after eating ice cream?

At night, have you ever noticed any cars with only one working 
     headlight following you on the freeway?  Were you in your
     car or walking?

Do you feel compelled to eat Twinkies in the middle of the night?

Do you ever dream of falling, flying, swimming, or floating
     through the air, or running naked through the desert?

Do you read tabloid headlines while standing in line at the
     supermarket? Come on, be honest.

Do you doubt Elvis' death?

Do you have any unusual markings on your body which may appear as
     birthmarks?  Do you have any unusual scars or indentations
     on your neck, back, legs, arms or buttocks?

Do you have a small circular scar on your right or left forearm?
     Were you told it was "just a smallpox vaccination?"

Do you compulsively flip the channels with your TV remote only to
     return to reruns of "My Favorite Martian?"

Do you often hear strange, unfamiliar voices in your head?  Do
     you respond to them?

Do you wonder who really shot JFK?  Do you think it was a

Do you sleep with your head against a wall?

Do you find yourself reading something more than once?  
Do you find yourself reading something more than once? 

Do you drive an American or foreign made vehicle?

Do you look at everyday objects and think they look like alien
     ships or artifacts?

Do you collect scraps of tin foil and think, "Roswell?"

Do you think Roswell, New Mexico should be the site of the new
     world government headquarters?

Do you think Yanni should run for President?

Have you ever had an unexplained lapse of memory?  May we ask
     your spouse?

Are you color blind, even slightly?  Is gray your favorite color?

Do you feel compelled to give the man in the moon a name?

Do you believe you could write the next bestselling novel if only
     the words weren't all jumbled up in your mind?

Do you believe your virtual pet may be trying to communicate with

Have you ever wanted to be an astronaut?

Do you still cry at the end of "ET?"

Is Marvin the Martian your favorite cartoon character?

Do you try and find the planet Krypton on star maps?

Do large bellowing clouds remind you of the movie, "Close
     Encounters of the Third Kind?"

Do you look for information on the location of Area 51, Hanger 18
     or the secret headquarters of MIB?

Are you fascinated with swamp gas?

Do you believe the ozone layer is actually a large receiving dish
     for alien signals and must be destroyed to save the earth?

Have you ever experienced sharp, unexplainable intestinal pains?

Have you ever experienced an unexplained pregnancy?  For men and

Do you carry a camera in your car in the hopes of taking a
     picture of an alien ship?

Do you ever have a yearning for a Milky Way candy bar?

Do you stay away from hair dryers because you believe aliens use
     them to fry human brains with radiation?

Do you think microwave ovens leak enough radiation to make humans
     forget their were abducted by aliens?

Do you believe that by eating more preservatives in your food you
     will become less appetizing to aliens?

Do you believe little gray aliens with big heads, black eyes and
     skinny bodies crashed at Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 in an
     attempt to reclaim Earth which humans forcibly conquered
     millions of years ago after escaping from a doomed planet in
     a not-too-distant universe?

Do you record reruns of "The X-Files" and then play them
     backwards in the hopes of finding a subliminal message from

Do you think Ross Perot's ears look like satellite receiving

Do computers hate you?

Do you sometimes see alien profiles in certain toilet seats or
     musical instruments?

Are you compelled to put a masking tape X on your living room

Do people say you are obsessed with aliens and UFOs even though
     you claim not to believe in them?

Do you believe you are being watched right now?  Don't turn

If you answered "YES" to at least 5 of these questions there is a
strong possibility you have been abducted by aliens at least once
in your life.


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