TAOISM - Shit happens
        CONFUCIANISM - Confucius says "Shit happens."
        BUDDHISM - If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
        ZEN - What is the sound of shit happening?
        HINDUISM - This shit happened before.
        MORMON - This shit is going to happen again.
        ISLAM - If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
        CALVINISM - Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
        CATHOLICISM - Shit happens because you're bad.
        PROTESTANTISM - Let this shit happen to someone else.
        JUDAISM - Why does this shit always happen to us?
        STOICISM - This shit is good for me.
        CHRISTIAN SCIENCE - Shit is only in your mind.
        SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST - No shit on Saturdays.
        HEDONISM - There isn't anything like a good shit happening.
        MOONIES - Only happy shit happens.
        HARE KRISHNA - Shit happens rama rama
        RASTAFARIANISM - Let's smoke this shit.
        EXISTENTIALISM - What is shit anyway?
        ATHEISM - No shit.